Lady Paperclip (paperclipbitch) wrote,
Lady Paperclip
paperclipbitch

Torchwood Masterlist



Stand-alone Stories

Acquaint Me With Your Fuck-Ups
Ianto, Suzie | PG-13 | 6230 | fanfic100 & 7rainbowprompts
“We’ve never had someone turning up with a CV and a desperate work drive before. It’s worrying.”

An Unauthorised Kiss
Owen/Ianto | NC-17 | 4255
Some days, he’s barely human, and other days he’s so unbelievably human that Ianto can hardly stand to look at him.

And When We Collide We’ll See What Gets Left Over
Owen/Ianto | PG-13 | 4180 | 1sentence & fanfic100
“I didn’t see you trying to stop me,” Owen mutters in his ear, “You’re not exactly the hero here either, you know.”

As We Mean To Go On
Owen/Ianto | PG-13 | 4670 | fanfic100 & johanirae
Owen is feeling charitable enough to last four hours before going to Jack and telling him to fire the new guy.

Baby, I Die Every Night, Every Time
Suzie; team | PG-13 | 5438 | 7rainbowprompts
Jack is lying beside her, grinning, which is odd because Suzie thinks that she might have memories of him being decapitated.

Bloody Stupid Reaction Shots
John/Owen, Jack/Owen | PG-15 | 3175 | 5drunkfics
He decides that his apparent obsession with men with made-up ranks, military coats, severely damaged personalities and inflated opinions of themselves is seriously unhealthy.

But He’ll Get Me
Jack/Owen | PG-13 | 2870 | 5drunkfics
Owen frowns. “I can’t actually think of anything less sensible than drinking shots with your omnisexual soon-to-be-ex-boss.”

Call Me On Your Wedding Day, We’ll Grow Flowers In The Morgue
Katie/Lisa | PG-13 | 3012 | philosophy_20
Remains. Shades. Aftershocks. Lisa feels emptier, at each word. Thin, stretched.

Can’t Forget The Things You Never Said
Jack/Owen | PG | 1432 | 5drunkfics
“You took several unauthorised days off work to sulk, then attempted to kill yourself with a terrified and feral alien. Tell me which part of that earned you anything.”

Can’t Stop Now
Suzie/Gwen | PG-13 | 1000 | femslash100
Gwen never intends to pity Suzie. Or like her. She intends to hate her for the innocent lives she took, for the people she stabbed in the back.

Can’t Take Me Anywhere
Owen/Ianto | PG | 682 | sparrowette
He could have done without the actual Armageddon outside the window though. From this angle it kind of looks like Jack is on fire.

Clinging To The Wreckage Until I Got The Message
Owen/Ianto | PG-15 | 9350
“You need something other than this in your life, Owen,” Ianto murmurs. “Or you’re going to end up seriously injured.”

Coda In C Flat
Team | PG | 1655 | philosophy_20
He’ll either be proving her wrong, or merely proving her point. At this point in time, he’s honestly not sure which.

Corner Of The Earth
Crossover with CSI:NY | Jack/Mac | PG | 2055 | crossovers100
“Peyton screwed you over. Let me get a little defensive, Mac.”

Could’ve Been Anyone
Ianto; team | PG-13 | 5430 | fanfic100
Ianto really isn’t as OCD as everyone thinks he is, but he’s also not going to point this out.

Dead Men Tell No Tales
Crossover with POTC | Jack/Jack | PG | 2346 | crossovers100 & silver_fic
“I’m not a representation of your subconscious,” Jack assures him.

Death And The Lady
Owen/Martha | NC-17 | 1630 | fanfic100
Now, there are no protestations of but I’m engaged, and Owen doesn’t have to work out the difference.

Exception To The Rule
Jack/Ianto | PG | 850 | darthhellokitty
It’s almost a relief. Trapped in Jack’s off-kilter and extremely weird world, Ianto doesn’t have to think about the razored edges of his own problems.

Experiments In A Minor
Owen/Ianto | PG-13 | 3700
“Do you want to sit in silence all evening?” Ianto asks eventually. “I don’t mind, I just need to know so I don’t try and make conversation or anything.”

Far Off, Like A Dull Rumour Of Some Other War
Gerald/Harriet | PG-13 | 10,645 | philosophy_20
Harriet doesn’t know what to say; she can hardly talk of cracks in reality and creatures that come from other worlds.

Fire And Ice
Ianto/Tosh | PG | 1273 | fanfic100 & faith_less_one
“So much for the cosmetic option,” Ianto says, picking a piece of burnt paperwork out of Tosh’s hair.

Five Reasons Owen Harper Waters Plants
Owen; team | PG | 500
Suzie left him a post-it the day she killed herself.

Flipping With A Coin That’s Got A Tail On Either Side
Owen, Martha | PG-13 | 5240 | fanfic100
“I’m still not dead,” he says by way of a greeting.

Four Things Jack Harkness Taught Ianto Jones (And One Thing He Didn’t Have To)
Jack/Ianto | PG-13 | 3110 |fanfic100
“There are lots of aliens. Everywhere. And we have to protect the Earth from them. With flashcards.”

Good Source Of Potassium
Crossover with House MD | Ianto/Chase | PG | 650 | entangled_now
“I can’t,” he rasps, and rather hopes that Robert will leave him alone in his Bed Of Pain, to feel sorry for himself and try and work out why the whole place smells like bananas.

Hamartia
Owen/Ianto | PG-15 | 5011 | fanfic100
“I have no idea why you weren’t drowned in a bag as a child,” Ianto says, apparently refusing to get drawn into another fight. “Your social skills really do leave a lot to be desired.”

Here In My Head: The Final Testimony Of Suzie Costello
Suzie; team | PG-13 | 6866 | philosophy_20 & 7rainbowprompts
I think we both agree that your ability to run a team and not fuck the whole thing up needs some work, Jack. Only I’ll admit it and you won’t. Or can’t.

If You Pass Go, Do Not Collect £200
Owen/Ianto | NC-17 | 12,380 | fanfic100
Ianto decides he should wait until the shock is past before he says did I really just see you beat a man half to death? What the fuck, Owen?

I’m Pins And I’m Needles
John/Gray | PG-13 | 1000 | kayscloset
His eyes narrow, calculating, and you remind yourself that you could still kill him, if it came to it. For some reason, you need the reassurance.

I Nothing But To Please His Fantasy
Jack/John | NC-17 | 8610 | philosophy_20
“Marry me,” he murmurs, and punctuates the sentiment with a slam of hips.
(Nymph, In Thy Orisons Be All My Sins Remembered - companion piece)

International Relations
Crossover with House MD | Jack/House | PG | 900 | entangled_now
"What kind of a name is 'Torchwood' anyway?" House asks, bored on a Tuesday afternoon with nothing but imminent death to amuse him.

In The Mood
Everyone/Everyone | PG-15 | 5353 | fanfic100 & widowedanthem
“We’ve got to lock down the base,” he says quietly. “Contain this, before Jack goes on another rampage through the streets of Cardiff.”

It’s All Twisted Up And None Of It Works
Ianto/Suzie, Ianto/Lisa | PG-13 | 3550 | fanfic100
“Well, Suzie,” he mumbles, finally deciding that it’s the moment to move, “I hardly think we’re cut out for the great love affair, and I need to get back to work.”

It Will Bleed You Dry
Jack/Ianto, Owen/Ianto | PG-15 | 5200 | fanfic100
“Stop joining in with Jack’s selfish bullshit,” Owen hisses. “You are not fine, you are dying of an incurable alien disease.”

Kind Of Tragic
Jack/Gwen | PG | 500 | karaokegal’s Fanfic Halloween Party
“I was convinced you’d be shagging Mrs Williams in the hayloft by now.”

La Plus Ça Change
Crossover with Robin Hood | Guy/Owen | PG-13 | 1000 | crossovers100 & unsentimentalf
Guy wears a lot of black leather, which creaks in a way that is… interesting, and is really wearing far too much eyeliner for someone who isn’t in a nightclub.

Lick Your Own Wounds
Martha[/Owen] | PG-13 | 3340 | fanfic100
Closing her eyes, she feels Owen’s hands against her shoulders. Bitten off more than you could chew, he laughs, though it’s not entirely cruel; more rueful.

Like Stitches In The Scar [One | Two]
Jack/Ianto | PG-13 | 13,296
The last time he slept was also the first time he dreamt about Ianto.

Like There’s A Part Of Me That I Want To Get Back Again
Owen/Ianto | PG-13 | 7385
Ianto Jones, in his crisp pinstripe suit, the remains of a black eye still mildew-green on his face, frowns a little at Owen Harper and says: “Have we met before?”

Made My Own Pretty Hate Machine
Crossover with Doctor Who | the Master/Ianto | PG-15 | 9170 | fanfic100
The man spins around and Ianto realises it’s Mr Saxon, who has security clearance for all levels (for reasons Ianto isn’t entirely sure of but which probably don’t matter).

Monsters In F Sharp
Ianto | PG-15 | 1700 | fanfic100
This is what they have driven you to; killing in alley ways like a Welsh Jack The Ripper.

Not Enough Hours In The Day
Owen/Ianto | PG-15 | 2650 | alphabetdrabble & fanfic100
Ianto isn’t sure when casual shagging because it was better than being alone became this, but right now, he doesn’t mind.

Oh, I Believe In You
Crossover with Doctor Who | Jack/everyone | PG-13 | 6550 | karaokegal
They’re both suffering from Post Traumatic Stress disorder and therefore getting drunk and playing around with sensitive conversation topics is a fucking stupid idea.

Paper Aeroplanes
Owen/Ianto | PG | 740 | fanfic100 & misplacedmarble
“Can I remind you that I have enough blackmail material on you to go to Jack right now and get you fired?” Ianto asks mildly.

People That I Wasn’t
Jack/Ianto | PG-15 | 3508 | fanfic100
Hands scrubbed irreversibly clean, Lady Macbeth in Armani, and maybe he can still feel Lisa’s blood still on his skin. Jack doesn’t care.

Rainclouds And Stitches
Owen/Ianto | PG | 793 | macphista
If Owen were the sort of person to get concerned about people, he’d be concerned about Ianto. As it is, he just orders another beer.

Riflemen Of War
Rhys/Andy | PG-13 | 3650 | philosophy_20
“She’s made you like her,” he says, tone a mixture of surprise and bitterness.

Seven Hundred And Thirty Of Your Days
Jack/Ianto | PG-13 | 1500 | fanfic100
Ianto Jones is carrying around two years of Jack Harkness’ memories in his back pocket.

‘Sex Aliens Stole My Clothes’ Is Not A Valid Excuse
Owen/Ianto | PG-15 | 4065
“Robot,” Owen mutters under his breath, mentally willing Ianto to say something that will give him an excuse to attack him.

She Can’t Wait For Him To Watch Her Die
Jack/Suzie | PG-15 | 2626 | 26_drabbles
“We’re not dating, Jack, we’re fucking,” Suzie replies tightly, bad mood etched all over her.

She’s My Man
Jack/Suzie | PG-15 | 1800 | 30randomkisses
Perhaps you should have been more disturbed than you were that you just wouldn’t let her escape; three times she tried to leave you, and each time you made her forget that she had.

Sooner Or Later I’ll Remember Why This Is A Bad Idea
Jack/Owen | PG | 1542 | 5drunkfics
Jack’s voice is very crackly when it comes through. “Owen, if you’d like to still have a job tomorrow, I’d go and lie down until this is all over.”

Take It Like A Man? Well Fuck That
Jack/Ianto | PG-15 | 1655 | fanfic100 & karaokegal’s Fanfic Halloween Party
And he wonders just when all his employees decided it would be ok to go completely and utterly insane without giving any kind of notice.

Teething Problems
Owen; team | PG-13 | 2542 | philosophy_20
Owen refuses point-blank to live in the Hub, because that’s only one step away from making up his own military title and swooshing about in a big coat pretending to be interesting.

tell rock n' roll i'm alone again
Owen/Ianto; various | PG-15 | 17,050 | au_bingo
It sounds a lot like Everything Changes, that first single that wasn’t supposed to go anywhere but did, but Ianto isn’t singing his own lines; he’s singing Jack’s.

Tempo Perdido
Ianto/Gwen | PG-15 | 1983 | fanfic100
Ianto watches Gwen dress, and wonders if it would be inappropriate to ask her to put the kettle on when she leaves.

That Old Black Magic
Ianto; Jack/Ianto, Owen/Ianto | PG-13 | 16,700 | fanfic100
It’s his coffee making that clinches the interview, and Ianto knows it.

This Isn’t “When Harry Met Sally” (And Sometimes He’s Glad)
Ianto, team | PG-13 | 1880 | fanfic100
He thought Torchwood One was bad. Torchwood Three is insanity, bottled on a microcosm scale.

Thornfield
Crossover with Doctor Who | Suzie/Lucy | 2223 | 7rainbowprompts
She’s dressed in red silk, and Suzie thinks she looks rather like a woman raped and left for dead after a dinner party.

Threads That Are Golden Don’t Break Easily
Crossover with Narnia | Jack/Susan | PG-13 | 9735 | crossovers100
Harkness wrinkles his nose. “I think I’ll call you Susie,” he decides.

Unification Day
Crossover with Firefly | Jack/Mal | PG | 945 | rivers_bend
He hates himself for it, but he’s not going to be stuck here on his own with nothing but dust to entertain himself with.

Video Killed The Radio Star
Team | PG-13 | 4607 | philosophy_20
After all, there’s nothing like implying that your dead co-worker was shagging the alien prisoners to create a break in the tension.

waiting for a dream
owen/martha | pg-15 | 8777 | fanfic100
there's something fucking disconcerting about listening to your own flatline, but owen is already getting bored of it.

Whatever Pays The Wages
Crossover with Doctor Who | Jack/everyone | PG-13 | 7025 | philosophy_20 & karaokegal
If he ever gets out of here, Jack won’t dare repeat this part. It’s not something to be proud of.

Well, Tomorrow We’ll Wake Up Entwined In Red Tape
Jack/Suzie | PG-13 | 6905 | 7rainbowprompts
“You know,” she remarks as they trail their way upstairs, “I don’t think you ever really asked if I actually wanted to join your Psychotic Alien Catching Organisation.”

Wish You Were Here (And I Wasn’t)
Owen/Ianto | PG-15 | 6410 | fanfic100
“This is altogether too Brokeback Mountain for words,” Ianto mumbles.

You’re Going To Wish I’d Never Touched You
Crossover with CSI | Owen/Greg, Owen/Ianto | PG-15 | 11,555 | philosophy_20
The peace is so surreal, the world’s ending and Greg sounds in pretty bad shape and Owen is sunbathing.

Your Girlfriend No Longer Runs On Solar Power
Jack/Ianto | PG-13 | 2165 | fanfic100
He does manage not to say you shot the only person I’ve ever loved and I’m not really in the mood to get right up again and entertain you, though, so it’s a good start.

Series

No Sense Of Direction
Owen/Ianto | PG-15 | 21,336

Here
Owen is drunk and angry when it happens.

There
But he begins to think that he may have fucked Ianto.

Nowhere
The seventh time, Owen asks Ianto exactly what he gets out of this. Ianto sinks his teeth into Owen’s hip to shut him up.

Somewhere
“You don’t get to be pissed off with me,” he says steadily. Ianto says nothing, doesn’t react. It’s driving Owen up the wall.

Above
Something about this whole sorry thing matters to Owen. Ianto is not entirely sure what it is that keeps the man persisting but there is definitely something.

Below
“I can’t keep sending the entire team home just because you never learned what tact is. Who’s going to make my coffee now?”

Left
“You know”, Jack says casually, appearing soundlessly behind him, “You are going entirely the wrong way about getting Owen to jump you.”

Between
Owen looks at the purple circles under Ianto’s eyes and wonders if he’s finally broken the tea boy.

Right
Owen can’t remember exactly why he stopped sleeping with people who wanted to fuck him, and why he’s started being with someone who clearly doesn’t.

Untitled Series Two AU
Owen/Ianto | PG-15 | 27,462

Nobody Wins Anymore
“Come on,” Ianto sighs, and Owen falls into his side like he's just been waiting for the invitation.

We Lied When We Said We’d Aired All Our Grievances
"You know what, I think I might pack in this empathy lark. It's really not paying off."

I Don’t Like Where This Is Going
“See what I mean?” Ianto says quietly, but he doesn't sound happy about it. “Same old fight; just new arguments.”

Hold Onto The Negatives, They Could Be Worth Something One Day
It's a new kind of awkwardness, one they haven't played with before.

Could’ve, Should’ve, Didn’t
They want to pretend things are normal, but they're not. They're really sodding not.

The One You Don’t Dare Miss (For Fear Of What It Could Lead To)
“If you don't get away from me in the next minute," he begins a little unsteadily, "I'm going to kiss you.”

Drabbles

Coffee Break Drabbles
(written during my breaks at work)

Monday
Owen, Ianto | PG | 152
The whole damn universe doesn’t need to revolve around their captain just because Ianto’s does.

Monday
Jack/Suzie | PG | 217
“You’re such a romantic, Suze,” he returns, with plenty of teeth.

Saturday
Mickey, Owen[/Ianto] | PG | 228
“He’s like a robot,” Mickey points out.

Tuesday
Jack, Ianto, Gwen | G | 280
He’s spent most of his career at Torchwood playing with blamelessness; finding new ways to avoid acknowledging that he lives on always and no one else does.

Drabbles for femslash100

Demon
Tosh/Gwen | PG | 200
And the thing that isn’t Tosh throws back its head and laughs, electric light glinting off its teeth, the sound harsh and ugly.

Hate
Tosh/Suzie | G | 200
Suzie pulled her in and now she’s gone and Tosh doesn’t know what to do.

Love
Tosh/Gwen | PG-13 | 200
Gwen doesn’t kiss anything like Mary did.

Random Drabbles

but mama it wasn't my bullet
Owen/Martha | PG | 300
Owen shrugs. “We’re all going to be dead soon, everything matters.”

Drink
Owen/Ianto | PG | 125
He hates how the clean-ups are always his.

Exhuming McCarthy
Jack | PG | 200
Torchwood is professional of course; or, at least, it claims to be professional because the truth is just plain depressing.

Google
Ianto | G | 125
“I am wasted here,” he tells no one in particular.

Now Could I Drink Hot Blood
Jack/John | PG-13 | 300
“Look at what they’ve done to you, you look fucking awful.”

Orange
Owen, Ianto | G | 100
Owen’s eyes are glowing with gleeful malevolence, and Ianto’s head is spinning.

Purpose
Owen, Ianto | PG | 290
Owen grins his favourite bastard grin because emotional bonding was something that got stripped away a long time ago, right along with caring about things and smiling without it hurting.

Reichenbach Falls
Owen, Ianto | PG | 300
He isn’t even certain that this is Ianto sitting next to him, thumbing a ragged gash in the thigh of his own jeans.

Rigor Mortis
Owen, Ianto | PG | 300
Owen shrugs. “I’m like the honorary teaboy, aren’t I?”

Untitled
Jack, Alice | G | 100
“Just one thing,” she says, leaning forward, “If you’re from the future, you’ve found the Doctor.”
Tags: master list, tv show: torchwood
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