Fandom: House MD
Challenge/Prompt: 100moods 040. Flirty
Rating: PG (no swearing and only one sexual reference. Must be losing my touch…)
Summary: Ordinarily, Chase doesn’t remember patients’ names, but this one would be pretty hard to forget.
Author’s Notes: CRACK. FOR ME. BECAUSE I WANTED TO. I love Kalvin to pieces (and am way excited since I discovered that he’s played by the guy who plays Ted in Heroes), and rewatching Hunting last night, this popped cheerfully into my head. I wrote it in around an hour during double history today, which I think deserves snaps of some kind.
House is still in rehab, which is causing all kinds of problems. It’s been two months since the shooting and Cameron still shudders every time she looks at the carpet, Foreman is still acting like he doesn’t give a damn, and Chase is getting tired of the I-saw-my-boss-shot-down-in-front-of-me trauma he’s expected to be drowning in. So he’s out for a drink in the hope it’ll help quash the weird mixture of misery and apathy he feels steeped in.
His mother used to do this too, but she was better at it. Chase hasn’t even finished his first gin and tonic and he’s already losing interest in the whole idea of drinking himself into a stupor. Maybe he has learnt something after all.
“Doctor Chase!” The voice makes him turn and he watches, bemused, as a skinny guy with wild brown hair drops into the chair beside his. “I thought it was you.”
Ordinarily, Chase doesn’t remember patients’ names, but this one would be pretty hard to forget.
“Kalvin,” he says, and it’s sort of an exclamation and sort of a groan and Kalvin smirks either way, “What are you doing here?”
Kalvin shrugs. “You won’t go to the gay bars, so I had to come to you.”
“So you’re stalking me now?” Chase asks, and for some reason this doesn’t disturb him as much as it probably should do.
“Do you want me to be?” There’s enough seriousness in Kalvin’s voice to make Chase swallow and bite his lip.
“I’m not gay,” he tries, and it comes out just sounding like he’s in denial. As usual.
“Yeah, and I didn’t ask for a Barbie doll for my sixth birthday.” Kalvin gives him a smile, telling him he’s not buying it. “At the very least you’re lusting after that blue-eyed bastard boss of yours.” He’s getting kind of too close to home, and Chase’s hand shakes slightly as he reaches for his glass. “Or maybe Doctor Wilson. Damn, if I hadn’t been dying…”
Chase’s only response is to take a mouthful of gin and tonic. He likes to think that he’s looking impassive, but he probably just looks like he’s pouting.
“Wilson’s getting divorced,” he supplies after a moment, “If you want to jump him, now’s as good a time as any.”
Kalvin does actually look tempted for a moment, before he laughs and leans a little too close.
“But I’ve got you here now,” he murmurs, before sitting back. “Besides, my crystal meth got you laid, so I figure you owe me.”
Chase chokes. “How did you-”
“Allison told me.” Kalvin says it so casually that it takes Chase a moment to make the connection.
“You’re still in touch with Cameron?” he asks incredulously.
“Yep.” Kalvin nods. “At first, she just wanted someone to bitch at about her HIV crisis, now I think she’s trying to save me.”
Chase laughs. “God forbid.”
“Tell me about it.” Kalvin’s knee is pressed to his under the table and Chase is certain that this is in no way an accident. “She’s a nice girl, though, very earnest.”
“She is,” Chase agrees. This is all very surreal, he reflects, and possibly not entirely a coincidence. “She didn’t put you up to this, did she?” he adds, a sudden horror gripping him.
“Would she do something like that?” The amusement in Kalvin’s eyes is plain and does nothing to assuage Chase’s suspicions.
“Hidden depths,” Chase explains. He leans back a little in his chair. “So, did she?”
Kalvin shrugs. “Guess that’s a chance you’ll just have to take.”
He runs a hand back through his ridiculously thick hair and gives Chase a grin that’s charming in spite of everything. “So? Can I sit here? We could compare daddy issues…” He leans forward to grab Chase’s glass, and takes a sip. “Not with this though, God, could you have picked a more depressing drink?”
“My mum drank herself to death on them,” Chase explains, because he might as well be upfront about it.
“Jesus, we’re definitely getting some decent alcohol,” Kalvin says. “Cocktails or something. How would you feel about a Screaming Orgasm?”
“I’m not sure they sell those here,” Chase replies.
“I wasn’t talking about the drink,” Kalvin tells him, and then bursts out laughing. “Oh, seriously, the look on your face!”
Chase is faintly annoyed, and really disconcerted, and maybe even the slightest bit drunk, all of which results in him grabbing Kalvin’s shoulder and pulling the other man into a faintly startling kiss. Kalvin stops laughing abruptly and Chase thinks it’s probably just as well he chose a table in the corner. He pulls away before it can get too serious and looks at Kalvin’s almost comical expression of surprise.
“Damn,” Kalvin murmurs, “I knew you were too pretty to be straight.”
“Hidden depths,” Chase replies, and if nothing else this has got to beat trying to break down on his mother’s vices. And it’s not really unethical if Kalvin’s not his patient any more, and if he started it.
“So, does this mean…” Kalvin begins, and the smile on his face is getting ever more predatory.
Chase smiles back a predatory smile of his own. “Buy me a drink and we’ll figure something out.”